Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"Thought of the Day: Burn and Learn"

My neice's cousin who's my age wrote a note on her facebook a few days ago called "Thought of the Day: Burn and Learn" that I just came upon tonight. Yes, the title sounds harsh, but the point she was making is exactly how I've been feeling lately.
It's not my place to choose the paths my friends take, and sometimes, I guess a lot of times, that's really hard for me to remember. I can't stand seeing people making really horrible decisions in their life that they KNOWINGLY make without any sense of remorse. It eats at me because it's so hard to decificer between when it's my place to step in and say something and when it's my place to stay out of other people's lives. I hate it. I hate the feeling of knowing that something is wrong and not being able to step in and say anything all because of the amount of backlash I'll receive from about 30 people for being the one to stand against someone. I do know that my family would say either A. "Well, maybe you're just thinking too much in to things. I'm sure it's not as bad of a things as you're thinking. You just are too emotional and tend to over exagerate sometimes. Just stay out of it." or B. " If something is wrong you should stand up and say something no matter the consequences. You should always do the right thing."......
Wonderful, I have no clue what the right thing is, and yes I am pationate, I won't allow people to get hurt, but a few years ago I spoke up and told the truth and spoke my mind and defended someone even though everyone else wanted to turn their backs and I lost a slew of friends over it. And let me tell you that at 18, starting from almost scratch and sucking it up isn't the easiest thing to do while trying to hold yourself together. That said, despite the repercussions I'm having a difficult time right now keeping my mouth shut, but I am because I feel my opinion would just fall on deaf ears.
I digress.. The point of her post said "I sympathize with people who have yet to figure out who they are in life-but I don't want to be part of your self-discovery anymore. I figured it out on my own and it's difficult. If you can't tell me who you are- you can't expect me to know either...and if you are one person in front of me and some else in front of others- then don't make the effort to be my friend because I don't enjoy that kind of friendship." Her words are the words I've been feeling, but didn't know how to say.. Maybe I did know how to say them, but I'm having a difficulty saying them. How do you tell a life long friend that you just can't be their friend any more if this is the way they choose to live their life? My mom has told me in the past that I should try to stay friends with this person because she needs someone in her life to give her a better moral compass... but... When is enough enough? Do I keep my mouth shut? Do I speak up? Or do I just give up on this person? Is it their time to take the risk of getting burned and learning from it on their own???

I'm off to bed.. I'm so tired and still sick, and getting worn down by this burden is getting worse.. thanks y'all for all the recent comments! I love reading them every day!

Happy Wordful Wednesday!!


Cheryl said...

Oh Kaylan, what a dilemma. My advice is to ALWAYS ask the Holy Spirit to guide you before you speak up in any situation. Sometimes you will be asked to say the hard things and other times you will told to stay quiet.
But if you feel led to speak up, ALWAYS speak the truth in love.

As far as remaining friends with someone who is making bad decisions, it's realy their decision not yours. Because when you say to that person, "I love you and care about you but I don't agree with the decisions you are making because...." They will either respect you for your honesty and treasure your friendship even more or they will get offended and want to end the friendship.

I love you dearly!
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 Pretty much covers your whole dilemma!

Big Sister said...

Hey KK! Sounds to me like you are having a rough time!! I wish I could help but the only thing I can think of to do is pray for you and this situation and let GOD take care of everything!! I will pray for you and always remember that I LOVE you!!! And nothing ABSALOUTLY NOTHING can change that!!! Just pray and let God handle the rest and if you feel like he's leading you to do something, pray about it one more time and if you keep feeling that urge that's what GOD wants YOU to do!! I LOVE YOU KK!!!!! Miss you & I am & will pray for you whenever I get a chance! Remember to pray & let GOD handle it! Don't try to handle it on your own because we are nothing without GOD!
1 Corinthians 14:31
For you can all prophesy one by one, that all may learn and all may be encouraged.
I love you and here's another
Philippians 1:3-4
I thank my GOD upon every remembrance of you,
always in every prayer of mine making request for you be with joy.
I love you!! Miss you!! Talk to you later KK! Be sure to check out my blog!Miss you lots and love you lots and lots more!!

Big Sister said...

Here's a few more that talks about letting GOD handle it:
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
I love you and I hope these words of encouragement help!! And if you need any more encouragement all you have to do is say so! I'm happy to help!!

twinkle said...


Cheryl is a new friend of mine and I just wanted to pop by and encourage you to pray about this and search God's Word for verses that speak about sin. You may find one that really ministers to your heart about your relationship with your friend in the pit of sin. We sure don't want to fall in that pit with them, but it is hard to get out of a pit. Your friend needs someone now more than ever. Prayer can help. Writing a note to her and giving her a word of TRUTH will help. You won't make any friends speaking TRUTH, but eventually she will know you are a TRUE friend because you were willing to risk your friendship to help her.
The story of the good samaritan is a really good story about our relationships with people and just exactly who is a good neighbor.
Beth Moore has written a book titled "Get Out of That Pit" that might help you have more insight concerning your friend. Here's an address to a source for this book but your library probably has it, too. Read the excerpt from the site:

Long link but I just thought you might want to read some excerpts. You can search for the book and find more info.

You are a precious, Godly young woman and I am so glad you know right from wrong and choose to live the right way. The Holy Spirit lives in you. Your friend may not be so fortunate. Pray hard for her to be saved. She needs Jesus.

May God bless you with His Spirit directing you and giving you a heart like His. Christ is our example. May He touch your heart by His Spirit as you follow Him.