Do y'all ever have such peace about the things going on in your life that it can actually frighten you all of a sudden? The last few months I've really struggled with that...
I've let go of trying to be the control freak who needs to have a plan, and I've let it go-- just gave up the worry, the complaining, the stress, and all that comes with wanting things in life to be planned out. And that's worked for me. Just praying to God about letting him take control of where my life is going is the right way, but... I became frightened.
All of a sudden this week I started getting ansy. I have no unearthly idea why, but it started scaring me that I felt such relief. I've never NOT felt worried or uptight or scared of what was to come or "what if's", and I paniced a little. Is something wrong with me? Aren't I suppose to worry about what my future holds? Why am I okay now, but I wasn't before???
It sounds so ridiculous writing this to y'all, but for the last 3 days I've felt like I was numb just trying to work things out in my head. And yesterday I had a DUH moment sitting in church. NO I'm not losing my mind, and NO I'm not suppose to be spending my days paniced about my life. My Daddy loves me-- and He's going to take care of me. And the biggest part... I know that!! I do- it's in my head and in my heart, and He's the one that has put it there. It's okay to not be worried, because the reason I'm not is because well, I asked and now I've received. I don't think I've ever missed the obvious like this before, but I put my pain and worry on the table for Him, and He's giving me unbelievable peace.
Praise Him,
Monday, February 23, 2009
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