I'm holding back tears right now because of frustration. I'll never understand how Satan can have such a strong hold on people that they take their families lives and then take their own. HOW? I want to yell, " HOW GOD CAN THIS KEEP HAPPENING?". It isn't fair.
An article today on MSNBC's Crime & Courts-Top Headers is what broke me. I welled up tears began to build because of my lack of understand of all the pain that leads to... more pain that is just passed along to more unsucpecting people. And An article today on MSNBC's Crime & Courts-Top Headers is what broke me. I welled up tears began to build because of my lack of understand of all the pain that leads to... more pain that is just passed along to more unsucpecting people. And why?
Life just snuffed out as if it's a melting candle that was burning too hot on a table and as quickly as it was lit... a gust from the night air blows it out. 5seconds. Gone. WHY.
Why is it happening?
Why does it keep happening?
Why do people act without thinking?
Why don't people realize the finality of their decisions?
Why are people so broken on the inside that they feel as if ever cold breath of air is burning in the throats making them miserable and unable to fight for the fire that was once in their world?
Just.... Why?
I can't say honestly that I even know how to turn to other people when I'm hurting. I'm just now at 22 learning how to rely on God to hear me when I'm in pain, let a lone feel safe that telling someone else, someone here on Earth, that I need help in a big bad way some times. But fear is the desire of Satan. He wants us to fear trusting one another, fear rejection, fear being wrong, or even being right. Our fear of openning up no matter what occurs is what allows Satan to consume us.
And for some that consumption rules over me.
I went to college to find a way- to learn a way- to safe children. To save them from their parents, adults, other children and sometimes even themselves from that consumption. I want to help them see that their hearts can be filled with something so much greater, so much strong if only they are willing.
I feel like I'm falling short of what I'm meant for. I feel a weakness that I haven't felt in a long time. I just feel weak. I feel that the task that I have mentally taken on is so far out of reach. It angers me because I'm a go getter, and I can go get every child about to fall victim to stupidity, or sadness, even to hate.
I wrap my arms tigher around every child who is in my life because that ability to atleast protect them IS in reach.
I've seen sadness in children in my life lately, but how do you tell their parents that you're a little worried? It isn't actual all a parents fault sometimes. Life happens. Life gives us twists and turns so we can learn and grow, but some are hard. And as a child well... it can be harder, because you're just starting to learn how to trust and how to communicate.
Whoever you are, however old you are, do not allow fear to keep you from speaking up. If you try and the person you need to talk to just doesn't seem to be listening, try this:
Go to them when no one else is around, and gently take their face in your hands and move their faces slowly so that their eyes are looking at yours and tell them,
"I need to talk to you. And I really need you to hear me because to ME
this is important. I need you to listen to me first before you say anything,
because this is what I'm needing right now, Please?"
Then tell them how you're feeling, and what you're worrying about and fearing. I promise it will help whether it's your mom, dad, wife, husband, friend, family member. Some times we all need some redirecting to realize how much someone may need to be heard.
So what's have you seen this week that has you on gritting your teeth and angered to tears?? I wanna know!!
Love always and forever,
Kaylan
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